Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
