we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
