He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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