I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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