I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
