Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
