he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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