hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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