You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
