So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
