we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
