loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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