It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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