I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's always time for handjobs
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
