How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
