If that was your dad, he is hot
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
