Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i came on her dog
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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