We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
