is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize