watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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