Duck Duck Cougar?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
