oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
