But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
