Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize