I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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