you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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