i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
