I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
