so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
