You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
