My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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