I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
