dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
