Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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