help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
