Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
