i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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