it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you had me at cake vodka
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
