Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
