I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
