The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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