I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
