Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
