We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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