Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
