wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
