Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
