i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
