you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
