She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
