i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
