he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize