I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
