Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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