May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize