She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize