I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
