she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
