guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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