We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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