Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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