i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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